Saturday, August 29, 2015

Pseudo Celebrity Austin Armacost Extends His Fifteen Minutes Of Fame Thanks To CBS

Franklin, Indiana's most flamboyant and outspoken gay native, Austin Armacost, has managed to extend his fifteen minutes of fame after landing a role as one of the twelve housemates selected for CBS' latest Celebrity Big Brother UK series with a UK v USA theme. The series' introductory show this week fittingly introduced the group of fame-seekers as they emerged through the Illuminati's favorite symbol, the all-seeing eye. Armacost got booed during the opening show when he slammed the UK for having "shit customer service" and said he hopes he'll be able to "wank in the house" since masturbating is his favorite thing to do.

Armacost first gained fame for being one of a long line of rent boys kept from time to time by New York fashion designer Marc Jacobs before getting kicked to the curb. He had a brief run on the reality show A-List New York and has been spending most of his time jumping back and forth across the pond with his British husband, posting almost as many selfies and nudes of himself on the Internet as Justin Bieber or Kim Kartrashian. Armacost didn't miss a heartbeat in promoting gay marriage equality in frequent Twitter rants when his mother, Karen, got sent to prison for nine years a couple of years back for stealing over $680,000 from her employer, in part, to support her son's high-flying lifestyle.

The six housemates representing America, in addition to Armacost, includes a solid line-up of Kartrashian wannabes, including ex-porn star Jenna Jameson, reality TV star best known for her sex tape, Farrah Abraham, the least known Baldwin brother, David, hip hop promoter Fatman Scoop and bisexual reality TV star Tila Tequila. The line-up is as bad as when the Surreal Life celebrity reality show paired up ex-porn star Ron Jeremy, disgraced televangelist Tammy Faye Baker and has-been rapper Vanilla Ice. So how much more time do we have before God decides the clock runs out on us?


Anonymous said...

Wasn't there room for at least one transgender person in the house?

Anonymous said...

I hear their first choice was Jared Fogle before his turn of fortune.